Grand Theft Chocolate

I love dark chocolate M&Ms, but grocery stores and Wawa and places have stopped carrying the small single serving bags, leaving you to have to purchase the giant sized bags, which you open and eat like two handfuls and then you take it home and your dad eats the rest. The single serving is the perfect sized for a dark chocolate boost when you have that craving, it hits the spot. I was discussing this with this woman that I work with, who really likes the dark chocolate peanut M&Ms, which are OK but I prefer the plain ones. Anywho, she was shopping at the dollar store or five below or something and she found the single serving bags of dark chocolate M&Ms. Being a very nice person, she bought me three bags and brought them to me on Monday. I was so excited! Especially since I tend to have a blood sugar crash at around three or four in the afternoon and I felt that those M&Ms would hit the freaking spot. I had one of the bags on Monday afternoon, and I put the other two back in the plastic shopping bag that they came in and left them in a bin on my desk. I was off on Tuesday, and no one was doing shipment, so they should have been just sitting their protected in their plastic cocoon until I returned on Wednesday to eat them. So move ahead in time and it comes to Wednesday afternoon, and it's the first day of my period and I'm tired and crabby and I want to put those M&Ms in my mouth and show them the world. I go over to my bin and I open the plastic bag and I see only one remaining bag. I was a little confused, but I was doubting myself. Maybe I miscounted the number of bags initially and there were only two. The woman who bought them for me was going to be in on Thursday, so I figured I would wait and check with her.

Thursday dawns, a beautiful day, and I go up to the my friend who so generously gave me M&Ms and ask "Hey, how many bags of M&Ms did you bring me on Monday?" Instantly, she replies "Three." There was no doubt, no hesitation. Now, I must face the fact that a co-worker took a bag of MY M&Ms. Just took them and left no note, didn't ask, nothing. I instantly create a mental list of suspects who were all present in the store at the time of the crime:

1) Ron, my boss, who would have no reason to go over to my desk. Although he does like dark chocolate, he doesn't take things from other people. Suspicion level low
2) Nicole, my other boss, who is on a serious diet, and who doesn't like dark chocolate. Suspicion level low
3) Jill, the assistant manager, who is a notorious food hog, morbidly obese and regularly steals food that is in the fridge. Loves dark chocolate M&MS and would have been near my desk to look at something on the computer. Also a pathological liar who uses food as her emotional crutch. Suspicion level high.

I mean the thing that is ridiculous about the whole thing is that there was free cake widely available for public consumption, yet the fat whore went and took my M&Ms. I don't even want to talk about how wrong it is to take other people's stuff, but to have to secretly steal someone elses candy to satisfy your gargantuan appetite/maintain your 70% body fat is just pathetic. And then apparently she was complaining to another co-worker about how she's having trouble losing weight. I'm pretty sure that stolen M&Ms are very high in calories. Guilt is very fattening. I mean it wouldn't bother me as much if it were a person that I liked to begin with, but Jill is like the most dishonest person that I know, so it's just like the final straw. Then I asked her about it, and she totally lied and said it wasn't her. When you say "Honestly, it wasn't me", while darting your eyes and looking away, you're lying. And I don't like being lied to...I mean seriously how immature do you have to be to steal someone's chocolate and lie about it. The problem is I have no definitive proof. I am considering setting a trap now, leaving some candy as bait that will easily identify her as the culprit, but it's difficult logistically...I will let you know if I come up with a way to catch the theif...Too much for one bag of M&Ms? I think not...