I consider myself a baseball fan first and foremost, so it always irks me that while the Phillies are leading their division and trading themselves into a better position to defend their current World Championship, the local sports media sends envoys up to Lehigh University (located precisely in the middle of Nowheresville, PA) to extensively cover the Eagles Training Camp, AKA practice. Yes, they do also cover Spring Training, but I feel that they make Training Camp a much bigger deal. To quote the eminently quotable Philadelphia Sixers sage, Allen Iverson, "We're talking about practice." Practice that is apparently the most important sports news in the town. I realize that Philadelphia is predominantly an Eagles town, but do I really need to see footage of every member of the defensive line getting out of their huge SUVs to go to practice? I don't...Also, why do we still hold press conferences with Andy Reid? Does the man every say more than one syllable to the press that is anything more than just a repetition of things that they already knew? Let's just save the air time and assume that Andy Reid will not say anything controversial/have any comment for the press.
It's funny in a sense that this firestorm is happening, precisely because Andy Reid as a coach is very low drama. Once Terrell Owens started to show his true colors in his second season, he was all but out the door. Andy Reid and the Eagles organization seemingly have very little tolerance for people who cause them a lot of P.R. and off the field drama. They're very football focused. Which is one reason why the whole Michael Vick signing is so surprising and confusing.
Speaking of Michael Vick, let me just say that I did not care for him/think he was a superb player, before I found out that he amply provided for the torture and killing of his own dogs. He's a "quarterback," in the sense that he lines up behind the center, but he's never been known for the strength or accuracy of his arm. He set the record for the most rushing yards for a quarterback, and is pretty much a very good running quarterback. I remember when the Eagles would play the Falcons and the sports news people would hype the match up of Donovan McNabb and Michael Vick. Playing each other would determine who is the ULTIMATE RUNNING BLACK QUARTERBACK OF ALL TIME IN THE UNIVERSE!!! And every single time, McNabb would play a wonderful game and the Eagles would win by 20 points, while the Eagles defense would contain Vick and sack him half a dozen times. It was never a contest who was better. At least with Donovan, if he couldn't run, he would still be able to pass the ball, where Vick would just get stuck and throw interceptions. Vick always seemed overexposed, overhyped and highly overpaid for being a quarterback who can't throw the ball all that well.
Then you know, the whole dogfighting thing happened. I really have difficulty in understanding people who are mean to animals. I mean people are bastards a large majority of the time, I can completely understand how you would want to physically assault another human being, but animals aren't like that. They don't have all the obnoxious personality traits that humans are so prone to. And who wants to watch two dogs fight each other? I mean isn't Ultimate Cage Fighting pretty much the same thing with steroid laden people? Is dogfighting even neccessary in a world with the octagon of death is on every sporting channel all the time? Do you get ESPN 2 Mikey?
So I went from disliking Michael Vick to pretty much hating him. It's one thing to have your old buddies from the hood be like "Hey, you're not doing anything tonight, you want to go watch two aggressive dogs try to kill each other? It will be fun, just be sure to wear something splatter proof," but when you are the ringleader and chief financial officer for such brutality, I can't really make any excuses for you or pretend that you're a good human being. I mean isn't part of the profile of all serial killers/psychopaths that they tormented animals at some point in their life? What is wrong with you that you have to be so cruel to a defenseless and virtually helpless creature? What he did was disgusting and the fact that he got only two years in prison, predominantly because of the gambling aspect and not the animal cruelty aspect is a testament to how disturbed our society is. I know that people say "they're just dogs," but the more we learn about the animal world, the more we are realizing how intelligent animals actually are. I was just reading about a study that showed dogs have at least as much intelligence as toddlers. So instated of thinking about Michael Vick as electrocuting a dog, imagine that he is doing it to little Timmy or Suzy. No matter how much I try to empathize with his circumstances, that he got caught up with his old friends from home, for whom this is a large part of their culture, I keep coming back to it being wrong. Period. End of story, enjoy Leavenworth, don't drop your soap and here are some cigarettes with which to barter.
So I pretty much think that Michael Vick is scum, but I was not surprised when he was reinstated to the NFL. The bar for being allowed to play is anything goes as long as you're not actually convicted of murdering someone else. Drugs? That's fine, take a suspension and come on back! DUI? DUI with vehicular manslaughter? Water under the bridge! To be fair, Ted Kennedy also got to come back from that one, so that's not really just an NFL problem. Domestic violence? So tame, you didn't even use a weapon...here's a session of sensitivity training, and get those pads on! Rape and sexual assault? Just proof of your manliness and virility, settle it out of court and WE'RE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL! I guess you have to have a high violence tolerance, when your sport consists of huge Hulk-men physically beating each other down each Sunday and you encourage bone-crushing tackles. When I heard Vick was reinstated, I figured that he'd end up at some last place team who is desperate for a star :::cough:::houstontexans:::cough::: I had actually heard somewhere that the Cowboys were considering taking him, which would have been sweet as an Eagles fan. Would have made booing them that much sweeter. It would have been so black and white.
What's this? The Eagles signed him? Aroo? As I said earlier, it doesn't make sense because the Andy Reid Tenure has been marked by minimal drama, aforementioned T.O. incident not included. Also, do we even need a backup quarterback? What about that Kevin Kolb kid? He's supposed to be the future right? Just waiting there, lurking behind Donovan to usurp him when he least expects it. Also, doesn't Donovan hate that they keep lining all these people up behind him? I know he was pretty pissed about the Kevin Kolb thing, not to mention the benching that he got last season. Donovan is a pretty upstanding guy, and he's pretty much earned the right to not have some whippersnapper biting at his heels all year. Why waste any money getting another QB, when it is a clearly demonstrated fact that we need a top wide receiver to get us to the Super Bowl. I would rather have had Andy Reid fly to Buffalo, get down on one knee and ask T.O. to come back than sign anyone else. I mean Hank Baskett? He's just this year's Todd Pinkston...THE ENTIRE RECEIVING CORE IS TODD PINKSTON/FREDDIE MITCHELL version 20.09. Don't you see? Donovan is a great quarterback when he as someone to CATCH HIS PASSES. This brings me to my second point. Andy Reid et. al have never met a passing play that they don't like. I mean they pass almost every play. Our running back gets most of his yards passing. The entire Eagles M.O. requires a good passing quarterback, which Michael Vick isn't. Not to mention that you're probably freaking Donovan out by putting a lesser version of himself behind him on the depth chart. And God forbid something happens to Donovan and we're forced to root for that assclown. I mean he's obviously not intelligent. What sort of moron is the highest paid player in the league and raking in the cash decides to put it all on the line so he can bet a few G's on dogs. Seriously, you would think one of the people in his entourage would be like, this is a terrible idea, you're an idiot. You can make $40,000 on one bet at the dogfight or you could make $40,000,000 a year playing catch on Sundays.
All of the people who are trying to rationalize being able to root for the Eagles with Vick are like "Everyone deserves a second chance!" I generally agree with that, and I think a lot of the problems we have with repeat offending criminals are because we make it virtually impossible for them to assimilate back into normal society. However, I feel that comparing Michael Vick's "first chance" to any other criminal's first chance is disingenious. The guy was on top of the world and he threw it away for something pretty stupid in the big scheme of his life. Does someone that stupid really deserve a second chance? Shouldn't we be shipping idiots like him off to an island somewhere away from society? I mean your first chance was a Golden Chance, and you were too self-destructive or stupid to recognize it. I don't think you should be able to get that back again. Sure, let him get a job where he can provide for him and his family, but don't let him make ridiculous amounts of money, especially when he's only been out of jail for like a month and has not yet done anything tangible to show his remorse.
I for one have two proposals. The first he probably won't like, but I say that we call up the Octagon of Death people and see if they can loan us the cage for a little bit. Then we find one of the pit bulls that Michael trained who is still probably in a rescue because it's too aggressive to be homed. We put Michael (wearing his newly minted Eagles #7 jersey that nflshop.com sent me an e-mail to inform me is only $79.99), sans pads and protective gear, mano vs. fido fighting against one of his fighting dogs. If he survives, has use of his limbs and doesn't die of blood loss, he can return to playing professional football. If he loses his throwing arm or something, well then, life can be a bitch sometime (which will be even more ironic if the dog that mauls him to death is a female). The second proposal, is far less violent, and I think Mr. Vick might prefer this one. The Eagles/whatever future team he plays for pay for all of Mr. Vick's basic needs: food, clothing, housing, etc. Nothing extravagant, just enough for him to get by. The remainder of whatever salary is earned is automatically donated to the SPCA/Humane Society or some other animal welfare organization.
I for one won't be rooting for the Eagles this season. Hopefully, the Phillies will go all the way again, so I won't even miss football in the fall. I will not watch the games or buy anything where the proceeds will go to the team, while Michael Vick is still being paid. I won't root for any other team either, consider my Eagles fandom suspended indefinitely, which is something that Mr. Vick should be familiar with it, as it was his status with the NFL until recently.
No comments:
Post a Comment