Reader Request 3: An Open Letter to Charlie Manuel & Ruben Amaro, Jr.

The third installment of Reader Request, as requested by Maggie:

Dear Charlie & Ruben,

Charlie, let me just start this little missive by complementing you on your recent weight loss. It's nice to see your belt again and it makes it less painful to watch you trot out to the mound....

Anyways, when this letter was originally conceived the team was in a bit of a malaise, a June Swoon, a down and dirty funk. Rollins was bff with the Mendoza line, we couldn't win a series at home, Interleague Play...things got bad there for a while. Real bad. Benching Jimmy Rollins for like three games kind of bad. But things got better. You kept a steady hand and everything has been looking up since then. I don't want to look a gift horse in the mouth, but I do have some suggestions that might keep things moving along swimmingly.

1) I think it might be time to start looking for a new hitting coach. I know you are very loyal to your guys, but seriously, Milt Thompson? How about someone who was actually a good hitter when he was player? Our organization has Mike Schmidt as a special advisor during spring training, how about we get him to do it? My concern with Milt Thompson is that he doesn't seem to be doing any actual coaching. It should not have taken three months for Jimmy Rollins to figure out that he wasn't doing the right thing with his stride. I mean every game is video taped, and a good coach would have spotted that right away...Someone should be working with Ryan Howard everyday to better pick up and hit breaking pitches. That's seriously all he gets thrown, and if he were able to better hit those pitches, he would be a crazy threat, and would also get more fastballs to drive. Any player who swings at a high fastball should be benched for the next game. I understand these are grown men and that Charlie, your policy is to let them work through their own issues, but these are some disturbing hitting trends that I think could be addressed with a new hitting coach. We also have a tendency to be too aggressive in the wrong situations. Take for example, when the opposing pitcher walks the two batters in front of you and you swing at the first pitch. That's just basic common sense. I'm sorry Milt, but I don't think you're doing your job. I think with more consistent coaching, this offense could be more productive, which would just be sick. Ryan Howard could hit .290 and Chase could hit more like .320.

2) Charlie, you don't really have much to do with this one, but Ruben, please for the love of Harry Kalas' memory, do something about the TV broadcasters. They are horrible. Tom McCarthy and Chris Wheeler have no chemistry between them, and they never, ever stop talking. And no one has any clue what Sarge is ever talking about, but at least he's only there for a few innings. I'll give you an example of typical banter...

Tom - "Well Wheels, that brings up John Smith for the Nationals, who is 0-2 so far in
this game against Hamels, with 1 out and a runner on 2nd.

Wheels - "Yea Tom, but the good news for the Phillies is that since 2001 with one out
and a runner on second, while facing the Nationals, in the month of July, during the
second week of a new moon, opposing teams have scored only 1 out of 3 times...

Tom - "That is quite a stat Wheels, good work..."

Wheels - "Well, since I was too small and nerdy to play any sports myself, I obtained
valuable insight and statistical knowledge about the game by being the scorekeeper or
equipment manager for my little league and high school varsity teams. And I just want to
give all of that information out to the fans, who really appreciate it.

Tom - "Wheels, when we're here in the booth, do you ever hear that soft groaning, and
notice that over there in the corner there is a pile of pipe ash and spreading wet spot? Oh
wait, John Smith has popped up to Howard who has to drift over to the stands, and there
is out number two....

Wheels - "Tom, we generally don't call the play an out until they have actually caught the
ball and/or the umpire has made an out sign. It's on page 476 of the Major League Rule
Book, you really ought to read the selections that I highlighted for you. But I didn't notice
that debris in the corner...I wonder what it could mean?"

:::Grizzled Janitor comes in::: - "You pompous fools! You are desecrating the booth once
occupied by Whitey and Harry Kalas! This pipe ash is from Whitey's ghost, who is
dumping it here to show his disgust with what this has become! And this wet spot is
Harry Kalas' tears, I often catch his ghost here weeping...They're trying to tell you to get
out, you are not worthy of those chairs....mark my words gentlemen, there is a curse upon
those chairs, that will punish those who are not their true heirs...BEWARE THE CURSE..

Wheels - "Gotta love the hard working people on our janitor staff, they got that mess
cleaned up real quick. Here's another stat about the Nationals, if you make an anagram
of the name of their bench coach, it spells, Nats will win! I figured that out this morning
while going through my stat archives. It's kind of like the batcave, it's pretty cool...

Sarge :::enters wearing a pimp fedora::: - "It's only cool if you wear a ridiculous pimp hat
Wheels, even though we're broadcasters and no one can really tell if it's on."

I may have embellished a little bit, but that's pretty much word for word...

3) GET HALLADAY...After much deliberation on this, I have decided that it would be the best thing we can do. On the whole, I like home grown talent, I like carefully cultivating players through the farm system until they blossom on the major league stage and all your hard work pays off. It worked for our current crop of players: Rollins, Utley, Howard, Hamels, Myers, Victorino, they are all from our farm system. We have a remarkably talented core of players, and they are all in their prime. We don't need any prospects who are position players because we have really good guys who are going to be playing there for a long time. There are no guarantees on our pitching prospects either. For every Hamels, there are inconsistent players who were highly touted prospects, like Kyle Kendrick or Gavin Floyd. If we get Halladay now, we can have him for two playoffs, this year and next. Imagine a playoff pitching rotation with Hamels (the real Hamels, not this seasons's one), a healthy and effective Brett Myers and Halladay. I mean the guy is so dominant in the American League! Think of how good he'd be in the crappier National League. If we get him and everyone stays healthy (knock on wood) we have a chance at a true dynasty while we have our core players in their prime. And for the most part it's home grown talent. We can afford to lose the prospects, we're not in a rebuilding phase and won't be for a while. We have to maximize the chance to win now. I say we offer Drabek, Carrasco, Brown and one or two lesser prospects, I would prefer to keep Happ, just because I think he could be helpful to us as well, although I'm not sure we know enough about how he's going to be over the long term. But we have to get Halladay and if that is going to require giving up Happ, then we do it. I have a feeling that the Blue Jays are going to lower their asking price as no one seems to be jumping at them with what they want now. I think the Blue Jays have to move Halladay now because I think his value is at a peak. If they wait until next year, he'll just be a rental and they won't get nearly as much for him or most teams with money will just wait until he is a free agent. There was something I was reading earlier that said that Charlie, you and Pat Gillick are all for the Halladay trade, while Ruben, you are hesistant. Um Pat Gillick is a genius who got us to this point, so you had better get this thing done Rubio. If you don't, I'm going to start calling you Ed Wade, Jr.